


I Had A Dream About A Burning House

by Devious_Tree



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dream Sharing, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I was also listening to my Sad Jamz TM playlist, M/M, also Eddie please talk to a damn therapist jfc, but only their nightmares, you share your soulmates dreams
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-08-28 02:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16715217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devious_Tree/pseuds/Devious_Tree
Summary: When you're little, its the typical monsters under the bed. In high school, there are nightmares about disappointing people by not becoming all that they want you to be.It all takes a hard left turn when Buck hits college.





	I Had A Dream About A Burning House

**Author's Note:**

> I had the idea for this after talking about a high school!AU and then just sat down and wrote it all pretty much. This is also saved in a note on my phone titled "The discord has ruined my life" that's just full of Buddie WIPs so...
> 
> This one's for you 911 discord!
> 
> TW for like, kinda mild depictions of violence and death
> 
> Title from "Burning House" by Cam

When you're little, it’s the typical monsters under the bed. A little bit older, and it's going to school with no pants on, or embarrassing yourself in front of the girl you like. In high school, there are a couple about disappointing people or not becoming all that they want you to be.

It all takes a hard left turn when Buck hits his sophomore year of college.

After that, it's war. All the ways they might not make out. Worse though are all the dreams his soulmate has of all the people they couldn't save. He shares dreams about them more than he shares dreams about not coming home, and Buck doesn't know if he should feel grateful that he doesn't have to watch his soulmate dream their own death, or if he should be worried about the weight they're seemingly carrying on their own. He feels kind of childish that all he has nightmares about is sleeping through finals and missing project deadlines a couple hundred times.

Everyone he knows thinks he's super into international affairs with how often he checks any news on efforts overseas. Really, he's just holding onto hope. Most of all, he just hopes his person is okay. Hopes he never has to hear about something tragic happening overseas and then never shares a dream again after that. Hopes he never has to look through pictures of deceased soldiers and wonder who it was that he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with, wishing he could’ve known their face for at least a moment. Because that's not how this fucked up mind-meld shit works. You get to live out someone's fears through their own eyes, so you never get to know what they look like. But every night that he gets to hear gunfire, feel sand over his skin, see red, that's another night he knows that his soulmate made it through another day. That they're one day closer to coming home.

\--

People talk about the nightmares they share sometimes, mostly the embarrassing ones of spilling coffee on their bosses or making a fool of themselves in front of their favourite celebrity. Back home it's weird to talk about your soulmate's dreams, a breach of privacy almost. Here, sometimes it's the only thing that keeps them sane. Eddie is just grateful that his person isn't another soldier. He's heard stories, of guys in other battalions who are soul-matched with another soldier, and they can never tell if the nightmares are their own or not. That there's no break from the nightmares of flashes and metal and sand. But Eddie's a lucky one, and his soulmate is just struggling through college. Waking up and going to classes exhausted, having mundane nightmares about sleeping through alarms or tripping down the stairs in front of a packed lecture hall.

It's nice, he thinks, having a reprieve from his own nightmares that are too similar to his waking moments. That every now and then he gets to know what his life might have been like if he stuck it out with the whole college thing instead of enlisting. It also kind of fucks him up though. Because he's stuck with the knowledge that he's plaguing some kid (although truth be told, they can't be that much younger than he is) with his shitty nightmares about the heat and the blood. It also fucks him up because he knows Shannon isn't enrolled in college classes.

But that problem solves itself when he finally comes home. He's barely been back three months when she says she's leaving for New York. That there's some sick relative she needs to go care for. She's barely been gone two weeks when she texts him to tell him she found her soulmate and that she won't be coming back to Texas. She's barely been gone two weeks when she destroys their family over _text_. She's barely been gone two weeks when she forces him to come up with something to tell Christopher that explains why his mom isn't coming back.

She's barely been gone four weeks when he packs up his life and moves to LA

\--

 

There were always the nightmares. They weren’t as frequent as they had been before, the ones of war at least. That’s how Buck knew his person was home, when the nightmares shifted from sand and ghosts to this woman who always left, taking more with her each time. He didn’t know who this lady was or what she did, but Buck’s heart broke for his soulmate every time he had to watch her walk out of their life. It made him angry. It made him want to find his soulmate, hold them tight, and whisper to them that he’ll never leave them for as long as he has a say in it.

But dropping out of college and becoming a firefighter was probably the best move he ever made. His parents weren’t too happy about it, but they also weren’t happy about the first time he brought a boyfriend home either so he’s not too worried about their feelings. Besides, he has the team now, or “the fire family” as Chim so beautifully put it when they were all plastered at Maddie’s house one night. He made a nice little home in the station with Bobby, Hen, and Chim. Even Eddie, who Buck thought was going to be a problem for a whole 9 hours, was a perfect addition to his new family, especially with Christopher in tow.

On the topic of soulmates and Eddie though, that was something Buck didn’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. He had been talking with Hen in the common area of the station, just talking out his frustration about knowing his soulmate was hurting and not being able to do anything about it. He had been going vaguely into detail about the whole situation with the disappearing woman when they heard one of the cabinets slam shut. Both turned to see Eddie standing in the kitchen, gripping the counter and taking deep angry breaths like the granite had done something to personally offend him. When he finally calmed down and sheepishly met their questioning eyes, he simply told them he didn’t like the subject of soulmates. The topic is never talked about in the station again

\--

Eddie doesn’t know where he would be if he ended up at one of the other stations. When he lets the sentiment slip while out for drinks with Buck after a particularly rough shift, the asshole just lets a lazy smirk spread across his face that Eddie knows means trouble.

“You’d be in a different part of LA.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and takes a drink from his beer, looking away from Buck’s dumb smile before he does something stupid like start a shoving match. Or kiss him.

“Thanks, asshole. Remind me to never share anything with you ever.”

And it’s a joke, mostly. He trusts the team with his life, but it’s like he and Buck share a brain with how scarily in sync they are on calls. He just can’t ever tell him about these idiotic feelings he’s developed for his teammate. His teammate who has a soulmate out there who left her life behind for something else, and isn’t that just a nice kick while he’s down. But Buck suddenly sits up straight from where he was leaning all over the bar, and when Eddie turns at the movement, the smirk is nowhere to be found and he looks too sober for the four beers he’s downed already.

“Eddie, man, I’m sorry. I felt the same way about the team when I first found my place here, still feel it, like I’d be adrift if I wasn’t here. And I-you’ve been such a great addition to the team. I can’t imagine you anywhere but by my side like on the calls today.”

And Eddie doesn’t know what to do in the face of this, doesn’t know how to respond to Buck basically telling him he always wants them to have each other’s backs. Luckily, that small, soft smile is back and Buck flags down the bartender for tequila shots. He pretends to put up a fight about that, but really he’s still stuck on what Buck said. They each down a shot, and as Buck tries to smile through the taste before he starts coughing, Eddie can’t help but think how lucky Buck’s girl is.

\--

They don’t dream together much. He knows he hasn’t been having too many nightmares. Life’s great with the team, with Maddie. He can’t decide if he likes the fact that his soulmate isn’t having too many wild nightmares, or hates the fact that he feels like he’s back in college waiting for a nightmare and expecting the worst. He feels kind of floaty, like there’s nothing tying him down to earth, and he’s just going to drift away into the stars soon.

He decides he hates himself for wanting the nightmares back after last night.

At first, he can’t quite pin down what’s happening. He knows the feeling of sand and heat, almost familiar with the feeling of it on his skin, but the woman is there too. There’s a sour feeling in his chest because she shouldn’t be here, is never supposed to be here. But there she is, standing just outside of a huge burlap tent. It all just goes further south from there. The same ghosts from before all stand around him and his soulmate, but the woman stands in front of them at the head of the circle. It feels like a judge and jury, the only thing missing is the executioner and Buck doesn’t know if he wants to know who that’ll be. His soulmate just crawls to each of them, begs for forgiveness the ghosts never give. They just keep repeating themselves, growing louder with each fallen friend that denies his soulmates pleads.

“You did not save us. You let us die. You killed us. You did this to us.”

Buck thinks he might be sick. The chorus of voices overwhelmingly loud until they stop suddenly. Then, he sees his soulmate on his knees in the burning sand before the woman. She’s dressed in all white, light fabric that flows behind her with the wind, making her look heavenly and so out of place. When she stoops down to put a gentle hand under his soulmates chin to life their gaze to her, Buck feels relief that she might console his poor soulmate. But their eyes meet and her grip turns sharp, fingernails cutting into the skin on their jaw and smiles predatorily. She pulls his soulmate up just by her hold on their jaw, leans in to breathe right in their ear, and the sick feeling his back and his stomach is lead.

“You did this to us. You couldn’t save them out here, and you couldn’t save us back home. What a soldier and husband you made.”

As soon as her fingers leave his soulmate’s skin, he drops to the ground like dead weight, face to the earth, fists curling uselessly in the sand. The ghosts close in, form a tight circle around him and the chanting begins again, louder than before. Buck tries to cover his ears, block out the sound that feels like it’s coming from inside his own head. He looks up only to see the ghost have changed from men and women in their dress blues to soldiers in fatigues, dirty and bloodied. Some are missing limbs, one man has a bullet hole through his neck, but one girl drips blood from her mouth as she yells at his soulmate, curled up and screaming on the ground.

Buck can’t tell if the sounds of sobbing are coming from his soulmate or himself.

—

When Chim whistles the moment Eddie comes out from behind the fire truck on his way into the station, he knows it’s going to be a long shift.

“Jeez man, look at you. I hope whatever kept you up last night was worth it.” Eddie laughs sarcastically back as he heads up the stairs, shouldering Chim lightly out of the way of the fridge to grab a water.

“Just got some, uh, bad news last night.”

Chim opened his mouth, probably to grill him about what exactly the news was when Hen’s voice sounds out from the balcony.

“Are you sure you two didn’t keep each other up?”

And he doesn’t understand what’s happening until he sees Buck make it up the stairs. Usually, if someone had asked Eddie how Buck looks, he would answer ‘amazing’ without even seeing the man. He was more than a little biased. But now, Eddie could easily say he looked like hell. He had circles under his eyes almost like bruises, his scruff looked like he half-assed shaving, and his hair was messy like someone had run their fingers through it, and not in a sexy way.

“Just didn’t sleep well last night. Soulmate needs to talk to a therapist, man. Like, for real needs professional help with all the shit he holds onto. That dream was fuckin’ rough.”

He hadn’t realised how tightly he was holding the bottle he’d gotten from the fridge until the cap popped off and water spilt over his arm and the floor. Everyone turned to look at the noise. He could vaguely see Chim mouth something at the corner of his eye, Hen shaking her head in response, but his eyes watched Buck has his face went through a couple stages before landing on realisation.

“Fuck, Eddie, I’m sorry. I know you don’t like, like all the soulmate stuff, I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.”

But he couldn’t find words to respond, all he could manage was a simple shake of his head, putting his water on the counter before heading downstairs to change. He could hear them all whispering about something, the quick sound of skin on skin before a soft ‘ow’ from Buck, but he couldn’t concentrate.

Soon enough, the siren rang out calling them to action at an apartment fire. They all sprung into action, suiting up and doing a quick check of the truck. Eddie and Buck ended up in the back of the engine, Buck shooting him weird looks every twenty seconds. It would kind of be adorable if it weren’t just getting on his nerves.

“Just spit it out, Buck.”

“Oh, I just uh, fuck. Look, I’m sorry about this morning? Seriously, I was really tired and I wasn’t thinking and it was just a dick move. I-“

“It’s fine, Buck,” Eddie shook his head softly, turning to look out the window. He didn’t want to listen to Buck apologises for caring about his soulmate just because of Eddie’s dumb problem. “You were right, this morning. I just don’t like talking about it. Just.” he stopped, thinking about Shannon leaving him and Chris to follow her dreams straight to her soulmate. Thinking about the poor kid he traumatised while he was in Afghanistan, who probably didn’t even want him knowing the shit that was going on in his head.

He sighed, “Just have bad memories attached to the whole soulmate business.” And that was the end of the conversation, flames coming into view over the buildings.

—

Buck was exhausted and wired and on-edge, basically whatever that weird feeling of fading adrenaline is called. The whole day was tense after his slip up at the beginning of the shift. No one was really talking to each other between calls unless it was necessary, and he and Eddie weren’t their usual telepathic level of in sync at all. He guesses that doesn’t really matter since every call after the first one was pretty tame, but that first one was enough for him.

That’s why, at first, he thinks it's his own nightmare. His turn to show his soulmate what he's dealing with after the agony and heartache of the nightmare last night. It’s the apartment building they were in today. He was four floors up, Chim had radioed that the woman who lives in 413 just pulled up yelling about the son she left home alone while she went grocery shopping, that she didn't see him anywhere in the crowd of people they pulled from the building and he wasn't answering his phone. He had been on the third floor when it came through, Eddie just a couple paces ahead of him, so he turned to head back up the stairs. Cap had told them the building was getting to be unsafe, that they needed to be out, but he needed to get to that kid. He heard Eddie yelling behind him, but he had been determined. He didn't need to be, they found out later that the kid snuck out to a friends house and wasn't answering his mother’s calls because he thought he'd been busted.

But he remembers what he's rewatching now. Remembers leaving that apartment and trying to make it back to the stairwell. Remembers the crack like thunder before a piece of the roof above him came down. Remembers Eddie pulling him into the stairwell and feeling a support beam barely clip the back of his boot. But that's when he realizes it. This isn't him, having a nightmare about not making it out from under that support beam, because _he can see himself_. Because that’s _him_ standing right there, and he suddenly has a pound of lead in his stomach as he watches what he knows is about to happen.

He does just that. Watches. Watches the ceiling come down on him with morbid fascination, almost feels the phantom weight of it, but all he hears is his soulmate screaming. He sees the hand that reaches out and tries to grab him but doesn't quite get him in time. He thinks that will be the end of it, that his soulmate will wake up, but then the hallway resets. Suddenly he's staring at his own face again, the dream version of him standing there motionless, eyes accusing as he waits for the roof to come down while his soulmate screams himself hoarse because he can't save him. Buck watches for a long time as his soulmate stands and stretches and _screams_ all night. He knows there was only one other person who could have a nightmare about this.

His stomach feels like it’s in knots, and it has nothing to do with the fact he watched himself die.

 

—

Buck has been acting weird around him for two weeks now.

At first, he thought it was just the usual distracted head space they all operate in after a close call like the one in the apartment complex. He knows he was in a funk for at least a shift after the earthquake, but this is different. It’s different because 1, it’s gone on too long to just be the apartment fire and 2, he’s only weird around _Eddie_. He’ll still chirp Hen about some mundane thing she said a couple hours ago. He’ll still throw little balls of paper at Chim until Chim really makes the throw pillows live up to their name. It’s just that anytime Buck catches him watching, he goes just the slightest bit tense all over, and Eddie can’t stand it.

He can’t say anything about it though, because they’re still stupidly in sync on calls. They’re still always acutely aware of where the other is in a fire, still know exactly what equipment the other person is about to ask for on the calmer calls, still a _team_. It’s just that once the call is over and they’re back at the station, it’s like Buck is a whole different person. They haven’t been out for lunch in almost three weeks, and whenever Eddie asks Buck out for drinks after a shift he always has some excuse for why he can’t. Eddie doesn’t know what he did and it’s driving him nuts.

It’s been over a month of Buck avoiding him when there’s another really close call in a fire. It’s a skyscraper downtown, fire covering almost the entirety of the 21st floor and the sprinkler system somehow busted. He’s making his way through the floor closing the fire doors when he sees into the room out the corner of his eye. Oxygen tanks, industrial-sized paint cans, oil drums he’s hoping to god are empty, and a whole load of other flammables line the walls. He’s just pulling at his radio, starts to notify Cap, gets out the “We’ve got a prob-” when it all goes to shit.

He has no idea how long he’s been out when he opens his eyes again. There’s something pinning most of his body, a metal shelf it looks like, so he can’t get to his radio. He twists to try and push it off when pain rips through his arm. On further observation, that is a lot of blood and he really needs to get out of here. He’s about to try again when he hears the boots, then Buck’s voice shouting his name. He yells back the second he sees Buck come around the corner and he can’t help but smile, even if it can’t be seen through his mask.

“A little help?”

Buck heaves the shelf off of him, reaching to pull him up before he spots the wound on Eddie’s arm and winces before switching to Eddie’s other side. “Jesus, Diaz. Look what trouble you get into when I’m not around.”

And Eddie wants to make a snarky comment, about how Buck hasn’t been around in a while, but the slight waver in Buck’s laugh made him bite his tongue. They make it out, some of the other medics check out his arm on site before they send him to the hospital for a couple stitches, gash apparently looking a lot worse than the damage actually is. When he gets home late, way later than promised but god bless Carla, he sneaks quietly into Christopher’s room to give his sleeping son a kiss on the temple before showering and heading to bed himself.

He feels sick the moment he knows where he is. He figured it would happen, but he hoped he’d be too exhausted to dream. But there it is, a room stupidly filled with flammable materials right in front of him. He’s about to turn and run as far as he can before what he knows is about to happen can come to fruition, and as he turns to do so his heart stops beating in his chest. Because Evan Buckley was not on this floor with him. Buck shouldn’t be on this floor, shouldn’t be in front of this bomb waiting to explode, shouldn’t be _here_. Eddie runs for him to tackle him to the floor, whether it's to protect him or just get his anger out about Buck being up here, he doesn’t know. It doesn’t matter. The room blows, the force of it throwing him to the wall and the flash whiting out his vision for a split second.

As soon as he can sit up, he looks for Buck. He tries to stand, only to find his arm bleeding again but his leg broken as well. He shouts for Buck, yells again when he gets no reply, and keeps shouting until he hears it. The sound every firefighter dreads. That horrible fucking noise that makes him feel like he might be sick. The tone of Buck’s PASS device is blaring at him as he crawls towards it, finds Buck under the shelf meant for him. Finds him bleeding, and that’s a lot of blood, that is _too much blood_. Eddie pushes on his chest, holds so much pressure on the gushing under his hands until Buck reaches up and grabs Eddie’s face. He looks pale, and he’s not breathing, but he looks straight at Eddie as he says it.

“Why didn’t you try harder to save me, Diaz?”

Eddie shoots up in bed, one nightmare he isn’t willing to let continue, and goes to the bathroom to take a freezing shower. It’s only 5 am when he gets out, but he has the day off today to spend with Chris, so he starts on breakfast instead. Anything to keep him from having to go back to sleep.

\--

Buck wakes up with tears in his eyes, his throat feels raw like he was screaming. He probably was. He was yelling at Eddie the entire time he slept, wishing his stupid soulmate could hear him in his dreams but he couldn’t. So Buck just had to sit back and watch again as Eddie felt guilt for something that didn’t even come close to happening. He has to work of all this adrenaline that left him with, and oddly enough, a run at 5 am isn’t odd for him, so that’s what he does. He runs the whole block twice, early enough in the morning and late enough in the year that there’s a decent chill in the air that bites at his nose and ears.

He has to do something about this. He can’t keep watching Eddie’s nightmares, can’t keep avoiding him at work because he knows if he talks to him he’ll let everything spill. But that’s exactly what needs to happen now, isn’t it? He has to let it spill, tell Eddie everything. Buck remembers the reason why he hasn’t yet, and his steps falter. It hurts to think about the most likely outcome, think about the thing he’s been most afraid of this past month, but thinking about letting Eddie keep suffering when he could say something about it, _do something about it_ , that hurts even more. And just like that, his mind is made up.

He spends the rest of his off day kind of sombre after that. He brings Maddie lunch at the call centre like he does every free day, but he doesn’t joke around with the other operators he’s been introduced to between Abby and Maddie. She notices, the look she gives him over their subs means she has definitely noticed, but she doesn’t try to get him to talk. Just keeps giving him these damn looks, which might even be worse than if she tried to make him talk. Something about older siblings, man. After, he heads to the store, grabs stuff for dinner for him and Maddie. She only gives him more significant looks when she walks in and he’s not blaring his “cooking music”.

He goes to bed that night feeling like the weight of the world is lying on top of him. Before he knows it, it’s morning, and that damn weight is still on his chest, but now there’s like an elephant on top of it too. He sighs, swings his legs out of bed and gets ready. He sees himself in the mirror while he’s brushing his teeth and he looks like hell, looks like he hasn’t slept properly in weeks, and that just bites him in the ass. Because he just watches in on Eddie’s nightmares, he doesn’t have that all that constantly swimming around in his head. He won’t let Eddie carry that shit around anymore, not on his own.

Maddie gives him a weird look as he heads for the door, but he stops to grab his breakfast and shake she makes him and gives her a kiss on the cheek and a quick “love you” before heading out. He probably speeds a little too much on his way to the station, but he doesn’t get pulled over so he’s got that going for him today at least. He pulls the jeep into his usual spot next to Eddie’s truck, meaning he’s already here, but he can’t bring himself to get out after he cuts the engine. He breathes in, thinks of Christopher, thinks of Eddie, thinks of _helping him_ , and gets out, marching into the station with a purpose. Eddie’s in the locker room by himself and looks up as soon as Buck spots him.

Eddie looks slightly concerned as Buck marches towards him, but Buck can't fucking stand it anymore.

\--

As soon as Buck’s close enough, he pulls Eddie into him and squeezes him to the point that it's kind of painful. Eddie gives him a couple pats on the back, incredibly confused before Buck loosens up enough for him to pull back. But he doesn't get too far before Buck cups his face in both hands, gentle but firm enough to get the point across that Eddie’s not going anywhere.  
"Buck, what are you-"

But Buck cuts him off, even though his voice is barely above a whisper, "It's not your fault."

Now Eddie is even more confused than the aggressive hug left him. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

And Buck just lets out a sigh, leaning their foreheads together and letting his eyes fall closed. Eddie had always dreamed of this kind of closeness, and his body had reacted instinctively as he realises his hands had drifted to fist gently in Buck's shirt, right where it tucked into his work pants, but he was still so confused by whatever was going on. He was about to ask when Buck spoke again, still in that soft voice like it was only them in the world and not like they were standing in the middle of the station.

"It's never been your fault and you need to know that. You need to let them go. It-Its over now. It's been over for so long and you still carry it around like it was yesterday and I can't stand it anymore. All the men in Afghanistan," and Buck must feel Eddie's hands tense at his hips but he keeps going anyway, "All the ones you couldn't save, that wasn't your fault. And every-all the times that something could've gone wrong but didn't, you have to leave it behind. Every time I've been in a close call, and they could've gone south, but they didn't, just, leave it in the building. Every time one of us comes a little too close, when we walk out of the building, you need to leave the "what if" to burn up in it."

Eddie is so confused. He's confused, and he's hurt, and he feels guilty, and he needs Buck to stop talking. He needs Buck to stop talking, and stop holding him like Eddie's something  _special_ , like Buck is scared that if he let's go Eddie's just going to disappear. But Eddie should know better than to hope Buck would ever stop talking because he continues and Eddie is braced against whatever is coming next.

"I can't stand watching it eat you and destroy you, this guilt that you-you've stolen away and kept inside of you. It doesn't belong to you. And I can't watch myself die anymore. Not because I can't stand seeing it but because I can't stand knowing you dream about this shit but never _talk_ to anyone about it. Please, Eddie. Please just let it go. Please."

And Eddie is trying so hard to keep the tears in that he almost doesn't catch it. Buck's hold on his jaw has gone fierce and the points of pressure are so grounding right now. He can feel each finger where it pushes into the back of his neck, behind his ear, the thumb on his cheekbone, and he's pulled Buck closer by the sheer force of how hard he's gripping his shirt, but Buck is pressing their foreheads together like he can crawl inside of Eddie's brain and fix whatever it is he thinks is broken.

It’s that thought is what makes him open his eyes and meet Buck's, both shining with unshed tears, but Buck is looking at him with determination and worry and fear and so, so much hope.

"What did you say?"

The small smirk that lights Buck's face is as much sad as it is cocky, but he says in that same soft voice, "I said 'I can't stand watching you dream about me anymore'. At least not the way you have been."

They may as well have been the only two people in the world as Eddie took that in. A soft huff of laughter is all he could get out before he pushes up to meet Buck's lips in a way that's too much smile and wet laughter to be considered a kiss. But he’s content to stand there and smile and laugh and total not cry a little against Buck’s mouth, and he has a feeling the sentiment is mutual considering Buck hasn’t let up his grip in the slightest.

“This is a horrible first kiss, Buckley,” and they both chuckle softly about that and Eddie’s heart is made of pure light and feathers it feels like.

Buck leans back slightly, still holding Eddie’s face like he’s the best thing in the world, and he really is to Buck isn’t he? He’s actually the perfect match for Buck, he’s the person the universe decided should share a soul with _Evan Buckley_ and isn’t that something. He’s so caught up in the feeling of pure joy he almost misses what Buck says next.

“Well, what can I say? I’ve been waiting for so long I got excited.” That gives Eddie a little bit of pause before he speaks.

“When did you know?” And Buck at least has the decency to look a little sheepish.

“Since the apartment fire.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Eddie pulls back the slightest bit, feels like he needs a little bit more than an inch of space between them right now as he sorts his thoughts. “The apartment fire was almost a month and a half ago. Wait, is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“I wasn’t avoiding!” he tries to protest but deflates at the look Eddie gives him. “Okay, I wasn’t _trying_ to avoid. It’s just, the team never talks about soulmate stuff in front of you, it always made you so upset. Then the morning of the apartment fire you told me, to my face, you don’t like the ‘whole soulmate business’. I didn’t want to put you in a situation like that.” And if that statement doesn’t just leave Eddie a little dumbfounded.

“You literally put your own happiness on the back burner on the off chance telling me might make me uncomfortable?”

“Well, yeah.” Buck gave a small shrug, “You’re my soulmate, I always want to make you happy”

Eddie can’t believe his luck, that this loving, protective, thoughtful dork is his soulmate. He laughs softly and shakes his head as he moves his hands from Buck’s hips to drape over his shoulders. They just stand there in the locker room of the station, looking at each other, before Buck uses his hands still holding Eddie’s jaw to pull him into a kiss.

He had heard before, about how the first time you kiss your soulmate you can feel the connection that had already been created become finished. He’d never believed it before, and he was still a little sceptical now, but the warmth he felt all through his body and the tugging in the centre of his chest, that felt like something pulling him closer to Buck, couldn’t really be explained another way.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. There it is. My first published work. Thanks Annie for betaing for me even though you don't watch the show<3  
> Find me to yell about 911 at evanbuckley-diaz.tumblr.com  
> (Props if you know what other firefighting show was referenced in this bad boy ;))


End file.
